The Break-Up

It always starts with the dreaded words, “we need to talk” and this situation is no different. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect over the past few months and I’m just not as satisfied in this relationship any more. I know, I know, you’re thinking that I should just give it more time and things will change, but I just don’t know if that’s enough. I need a clean break. You know, new country, new life, no more dependency on you. Well, it’s over. This relationship has been on the rocks for some time, but I’m thinking it’s finally time to call it quits. It’s just time. This truly is a situation of “It’s not you. . .it’s me.” I’ve grown and I’m just not the same and well, we just don’t have much in common anymore. I’m just not happy and I just can’t show you the dedication you deserve. This process has been painful with lots of wondering of whether or not this is the right decision. Can I live without you? Will I be lonely? Is it worth it? What will my family and friends think? Will I be the only one without something like you to turn to? How will I spend my time? So many questions that I just don’t have the answers to, but I know this IS the right time and right decision for me. I’ve just got to do this and I’m sorry TV, but I’m breaking up with you.

Weren’t expecting that were you? No worries, my marriage is fine, but my relationship with television, in general, is not. Let me take you through a brief history of our relationship. We’ve been together so long that I’m not sure where we even started. I think our relationship began over episodes of “Diff’rent Strokes” and reruns of “Three’s Company”. We grew up together over “Punky Brewester” (Punky Power!), “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, and my fondest memories were shared with “Beverly Hills, 90210”. (Dylan McKay will always hold a very special place in my heart. . .it was the sideburns. Sigh.) We became a little distant in undergrad and grad school as I just had more interesting things going on, but we seemed to pick up right were we left off the last few years and that’s just when the relationship turned unhealthy. The reason for our rekindled bond was the amazing technological device: the DVR. At the time I thought it was what we needed. It allowed us to continue spending time together, but at my convenience. Looking back I now realize the DVR was the beginning of the end. The ability to record way more than I’d ever watch or needed to watch was our downfall. I just felt too much pressure to catch up on all the shows I had missed during the week. As my DVR creeped closer and closer to reaching capacity, I just began to get more and more stressed out. My relaxing couch time on Sundays with TV was no longer enjoyable. I felt guilty for sitting around for hours watching TV, but felt just as guilty when I let all the shows pile up. I no longer received the same satisfaction of each show. I wasn’t concerned about watching the whole episode of “Biggest Loser”. Instead I would fast forward through Jillian’s attempt to bring about a psychological breakthrough in her contestants and the weigh-ins. I was no longer invested and just didn’t care.

During this period, aka “the DVR era”, we also experienced some of our darkest times as a couple. The scary times came in the form of episodes of “Bridezilla”, “Real World” (doesn’t matter what season since the cast is always the same), and “Oxygen’s Bad Girls’ Club”. Our lowest point had to do with VH1 and a marathon or two of “Fit Club” and “Scott Baio is 45 and Single”. When ugly things happen in relationships we’re often embarrassed and don’t discuss them, but here I am baring it all and feeling better because of it. I can’t go back and fix it but hopefully others can learn from my mistakes, save a few brain cells and hours of their life back in the process.

TV, I tried, really I have, but I just can’t bring back that old spark between us. I know that I have proudly held the title of being pop culture savvy for several years now, but I am going to have to let that go and find another strength. (I’m going to have to dig deep, really deep, but eventually, hopefully, I’ll find something.) No longer can I amaze my friends at work during lunchtime with my knowledge of all things TV primarily because I live halfway around the world and my potential new friends probably won’t care. It’ll do me no good to follow TV spoiler sites any more nor attempt to make conversation with others based upon a recent show because I’m cutting you out of my life. I know you’re probably thinking this a knee-jerk reaction to moving so far away to a country where the weather is great and everyone’s active, not currently having a TV, and Australian programming generally being at least a season or two behind. And yes, that does have plenty to do with it, but it’s not everything. This new life in Sydney is my chance to mix things up, start over, and take a path outside of my living room and away from the TV.

When we decided to move over here and it was determined that Paul and I would have to share (!) a TV and a DVR rather than have our own like before and it was then that I knew TV and I were in trouble. But now I’m looking forward to actually talking more with my husband rather than heading to our separate living areas to watch TV. I’m going to lose my pop-culture skills by not having you around, but hopefully I’ll gain additional knowledge from books (blasphemy!) that’ll help Paul and I during our weekly attempts to win at the local pub’s Trivia Night. I completed two half-marathons in the fall and I know without you in my life, I might be able to consider training for a full or maybe even a triathalon. I need to move on and you deserve someone who will appreciate you. It’s like the saying goes, “If you love something then let it go and if it comes back to you then you know it was meant to be.” So goodbye TV, I wish you nothing but luck in the future and I’m sorry that this didn’t work out for us. Please respect my wishes to end this relationship and don’t try to lure me back in with the final season of “Lost”.

The Year of the Tiger

Happy New Year!!! Yes, I realize we're two months into 2010, but this is the Chinese New Year: the Year of the Tiger and, of course, we're celebrating. (I'm following several different sites to help schedule fun and unique activities in Sydney. It's important to have a busy social calendar.) Sydney has a fairly large Chinese population and Chinatown so Chinese New Year is a big celebration around here. It spans a time period of two weeks with all types of events and activities. I love festivals and last week Paul and I, along with a couple of friends, braved the rainy weather and joined the crowds in celebrating the launch of Chinese New Year through some taste testing and shopping. This past week there were temple tours, origami classes, Chinese film screenings, etc. Unfortunately, I missed out on the lion dance class, but I hope to catch it in the future. You never know when that skill might come in handy.

Tonight we headed down to check out the parade and it was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, Sydney puts on some AMAZING events but this parade definitely wasn't one of them. It reminded me of the parade my parent's little town puts on. . . pretty disorganized but a whole lotta fun for the participants.

Although the parade might have been a little disappointing the fireworks that followed were definitely not. This city knows fireworks. There is no doubt that they could fund a significant portion of the Haiti disaster relief effort with the amount of money they put into these fireworks. In less than the one month time period that we've lived here, we have seen 3 incredible fireworks displays. They all beat any display either of us have ever seen before. (Did I mention they did fireworks for Valentine's Day too? Our favorite was the fireworks that formed the shape of a heart. Ahhhh....so cute!) Funny thing is that Sydneysiders keep telling us that these fireworks shows are nothing compared to New Year's Eve. . .the non-Chinese one. Guess I know what I'll be doing next NYE.

Along with this being the Year of the Tiger, this is also our year of change, growth, and opportunity. Sounds like something out of a fortune cookie and well, maybe it was. This past week was pretty busy and slightly monumental as we moved into our new home. (And no, Paul didn't carry me over the threshold. He claimed that it was too difficult. In his defense, the door does require two hands to open.) "Moving" is slightly a stretch as we just rolled our suitcases from the one apartment we were renting a room in to our new apartment. As many of you remember, the apartment hunting process was quite extensive. We were both thrilled to have landed our own apartment but neither of us could remember exactly what it looked like. This issue and not being able to remember what we packed in our shipment curtailed my craigslist and ebay shopping for furniture and decoration. Of course, only for a short while. After we received our keys and walked in, I was pretty disappointed. It just wasn't what I remembered or had made up in my mind. In hindsight, most homes look pretty sad when they're just empty. It's grown on me now and I know once we have our furniture and stuff that it'll feel and look more like home. I definitely try not to think of our monthly rent payments as that makes me like the apartment even less. Have I mentioned how expensive it is to live here???

Speaking of furniture or lack thereof, we should (fingers crossed) receive our shipment by the end of March. Keep in mind that it left Dallas on Dec. 14 but sat on a dock in California until mid-January. Since Dec. we have both been living out of suitcases wearing the same things and we're over it. Actually, Paul more so than me because he gave me his extra suitcases so that I could bring more clothes. In order to be super prepared (I was a girl scout.) and cost efficient I even did a little or actually a lot of shopping before we left Texas because I knew that shopping in Sydney would be much more expensive. Could I have made do with what I already had? Maybe, but there were some AMAZING sales that I just couldn't let them pass me by.

Besides our six suitcases, we had nothing else in our apartment the first few days. The girl we rented the room from lent us a few dishes, kitchen items, a folding chair, and a small tv. (I'm absolutely LOVING the Olympics.) We had brought a set of sheets and towels from home and in all, that was it. The floor served as our bed the first two nights and we were thrilled when our futon (won courtesy of ebay) was delivered. Even though our bed will be arriving soon (yay!) the futon will serve as a great piece in our sun room in the future. Our little empty apartment was much more bearable because we were gone several days this past week. I traveled with Paul for a few days to Melbourne and will be traveling to Auckland, New Zealand this next week. (Gotta take advantage of the time off and free hotel while I can. I know I'm not getting much sympathy.)

Even with our sparse living arrangement, we hosted our first guest. I met this girl, Joyce, from the Netherlands, backpacking through Australia/New Zealand on a tour in Melbourne. We hit it off and she had to return to Sydney for a couple more days before her flight left for SE Asia. I completely understand traveling on a budget and the cost of traveling in Australia, so I invited her to stay with us. Good thing Paul is an easy going guy. (I'd probably never have done this back home, but for whatever reason it just doesn't weird me out here. Don't worry, our apartment WILL NOT be turning into a hostel.) We have a second bedroom and bathroom, although no beds, so there was definitely space. So for the past two days the three of us have ventured to all different parts of Sydney experiencing many new sights and exchanging travel tips. Joyce shared her highs and lows of touring Australia and New Zealand and I shared my experiences and recommendations of traveling through SE Asia. Joyce had spent about 9 days in Sydney prior to this visit, but had never been to the beaches so we hit up Bondi this morning. (Beach, nap, and then Chinese New Year - busy, busy day) All in all, it was a great visit and now we have a friend to visit in the Netherlands.

This has been an extremely busy, yet great week. I've got tons more to write in regards to my time in Melbourne, goofy things I've seen/experienced in Australia, and my new job, but I'll save that for the next post.

Two Weeks In

Welcome to my new blog! My amazingly talented friend, Laura, created this blog header and she did a wonderful job! (FYI, she also can create original artwork for anything you might need – business cards, announcements, invitations, stationary, etc. Check out her work at www.artbyellie.com) Become a follower of the blog so you can receive updates whenever I post something new.

Yesterday was my two week anniversary since arriving in Sydney and I celebrated with about 50 other Americans by doing a very American activity – watching the Super Bowl. Instead of pizza, chips, and other junk food we had breakfast food. Why? Well, the Super Bowl was broadcast at 10 am Monday morning here and there were many Americans in attendance who had called in sick or stated they had personal commitments to attend yesterday’s watching party. I personally love the personal commitment excuse and will tuck that away for other significant events I might want to attend. Maybe opening day of Rugby season.

Oh, and even though most of us arrived around 8:30 am the bar was open and serving whatever you wanted. I’m afraid many of my fellow Americans were feeling pretty poor by about 3 pm yesterday. Regardless, good times were had by all and this is coming from a girl who could care less about football.

I’ve joined a number of meetup groups since my arrival in an effort to meet people and get involved. The Super Bowl watching party was hosted by the American Expat group at a local brewhouse. They had also organized a flag football game for this past Sunday but due to rain it was canceled. Instead of just calling the whole event off the venue was changed to a pub to participate in a very Australian activity – drinking. Between those two events, I met quite a few people, got their contact information, and have invited them to my local pub’s trivia night. Paul and I participated in the trivia night last week and came in 2nd place!! Considering it was just the two of us compared to much larger teams, I was quite excited. (Did I mention that Paul is the smart one in this relationship?) Unfortunately, he’s working in Macau, China right now and so I’m excited for my new friends to join me. And yes, he will continue to travel quite a bit in this role as well. I’m just hoping I’ll be able to join him on a few trips.

(Quite a few pub and bar mentions in the previous paragraphs. Welcome to Australia.)

So with two weeks under our belt, we’ve accomplished a major task by securing an apartment, which we move into on Feb. 15. By move, I mean roll our 6 suitcases down a few floors. We’re currently renting a room from a girl in the same building. And yes, the rumor is true, I did find her on craigslist. Even more amazing is that she is pretty normal. Well, Paul would give you different answer, but I think she is fine. This girl is quite eco-friendly and Paul always gets scolded as he puts his trash in the wrong trash bin. I think it’s funny, but it’s probably better that he isn’t the one who is at home all that much. It’s actually worked out to be a great arrangement . . .except that she doesn’t use her air conditioner in an effort to be more green. Did I mention that it’s summer here?

Pretty much my last hurdle is getting a job!! Tomorrow I have my second interview with an all- boys private school here in Sydney. If offered the position, I’d be based out of their elementary campus and my role would be more consultation, counseling, and intervention based rather than assessment based. This position sounds promising and during my first interview I just felt comfortable and relaxed and got along really well with the interviewers. I’m more than ready to get back to work and excited to be a part of something positive again. My lazing around on a daily basis is not positive. At. All. I really did enjoy my job in Dallas ISD (despite what I said on various occasions), and although I know I can’t replicate it nor the wonderful, supportive, and intelligent friends and co-workers I had there, I know I will be happy with this position. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Living here, so far away from everyone and everything has been tough for me. I know it’s only been two weeks and I know that we’ll have ups and downs as we get acclimated over the next several months, but I can finally see everything coming together. Meeting numerous people over the last few days has helped significantly. Maybe I will make friends after all.

I can now say that maybe the move was meant to be. Paul and many others have already been on this whole “it was meant to be” bandwagon but it just takes me awhile to come around sometimes.

Paul and I first heard about this opportunity in his company upon our return from our honeymoon in SE Asia. We had just come off a ridiculously wonderful trip and were excited and motivated by others we had met and their adventures living abroad. One of our life goals was to live abroad and we were planning on escaping reality for a year by quitting our jobs and just traveling. Of course, we had all these realities/things that needed to happen before we planned on leaving: 1) both kids out of high school, 2) pay off the mortgage, 3) save enough money to live/travel for a year, and 4) Otis, my furry dog child, to no longer be with us. None of those happened prior to our move except for number 4. In October, I lost Otis to lymphoma cancer. Seeing him that sick and having to put him down was absolutely the most painful experience of my life, but I don’t know if I could’ve moved to Australia without him. In that sense, it’s kind of a blessing even though I do miss him everyday.

Other things eventually fell into place as well but not without a large amount of stress. Our stuff was shipped over, our house was rented, our cars sold, and our visas finally came through. My license as a Psychologist is mostly taken care of; just a few more hoops to jump through. And the kids don’t hate us for leaving them. They’re actually excited about visiting during their summer vacations and have even contemplated going to college here or using Sydney as a base to travel throughout Australia and Asia.

Yep, things are definitely looking up. Now, if I could just memorize my new cell phone number (super long) and consistently look in the right direction when crossing the street. . . . .